The Life And Times Of Our Very Own Asian

Ben.... the only asian at our school. We love him to death. How can u not? Hes clumsy and senseless sometimes, oh yes. How can u not love a good ole' clumsy person. Anyway I'm here today to inform you of this young boy, who has changed our lives for the better here in our little friend group. I would like to share some very special instances in which we have enjoyed the company of our very own asian friend who we so very much love to tease and pick. So were sitting in English class. Good old Ben is sitting next to me and we strike up a conversation we had had earlier with the rest of the guys. See the sad thing about ben is that he is above rediculously trusting of people. He believes anything we say and that is our favorite thing to take advantage of. So today we convince him that humans have two hearts. YEP you heard me. And you know waht i love about tellling him this stuff? Its all worth it for this- He looks at me with his big ole eyes and says, "REALLY?!!" His jaw dropped and all, you can see the sweat from exitement, the twitch of the eye, the other spasmic bodily convulsions, the thick stewn saliva dripping down the corner of his mouth, paralyzed, Ben stares. Then he asks deeply interested..."What is the second heart for?" Then I clear my throat and explain that one heart is on top and one is on the bottom, one controlling the top half and the other the bottom. At first he seemed to accept this, but then miraculously and without warning he outbursted, "na-aaah!!" And i said, "Oh yes, yes, my friend, ask the others." By this time I had spread the word through the class to inform him that humans did indeed have two hearts adn he was quickly shot down as the others nodded in agreement with me. He spun around helplessly looking from face to face for some comfort but none came. He franticly asked around and all shook there heads at his helplessness. Finally he sat down and hung his head in defeat. Days later we broke the truth to him. His reaction couldn't have been more predictable, "I knew it!" he says with a huge ear to ear grin of self confidence that really shouldn't have been there. My next story comes weeks later, the time inbetween filled with numerous acts of bens senselessness, better know by me as the ben boo boos. This story takes place one recess when i betted my other friends I could get ben to belive that there are these giant lollipops (and i made this huge round like two foot diameter shape) that are called whimsicles. Now whimsicle was one of our earlier vocabulary words which means crazy or something. There really are big lollipops that are round no where that big though and I made that extremely clear, still he responds "Yea, dude like those micky mouse ones from disney world!" I swear I almost wet my pants. Come on. That was the farthest type of lolipop from my mind. Anything but that would have been closer. Those disney ones are really small and why of all things would he have thought of that? Yea, well, he still believes that one. The same recess I came up with a second more high class, thought out prank. Dolphin milk. Yes, I know. So I start a causal conversation and then suddenly ask, "Ben have you by any strange chance tried dolphin milk?" "No" was the answer. I said "Well Ben, people really do drink dolphin milk." And he says, "Wow." Yea, here comes the best part. You know the famous football player, Dan Marino who played for the Dolphins? He has no idea he was a famous football player or anything. I say"Yea and Dan Marino, he invented Dolphin Milk." Okay. First of all its rediculous enough he believes people really do commonly drink dolphin milk, but now im getting him to believe a famous football player came up with this. The best part though is, how are you going to go and invent dolphin milk?! Dolphins make dolphin milk right? Hopefully. And so hes like, "Wow, Cool!" You no like those little kids say: "Neato guys, Neato!"